- Dumbledore: Hey I've never met you
- Petunia: ...
- Dumbledore: And this is crazy
- Dumbledore: Your sister died
- Dumbledore: So here's her baby
- Petunia: ...
- Me: Breathe if you find me attractive.
- Entire human race: *dies from lack of oxygen*
My friends with their guy problems.
For every guy of the week, they’re like,
“He hasn’t texted me in like FIVE MINUTES. WHAT DID I DO WRONG?”
And I’m just chillin’ on Tumblr like,
“My mental relationship with my favorite celebrity is going fucking fantastic.”
(Source: j-edi, via life-asadreamer)
- me: i have to pee
- friend: then go pee
- me:
- friend:
- me:
- friend:
- me: no
